The Exodus to Sadistville, Part IV

Yes, folks, it's time for the text-only section of the Exodus to Sadistville to come to an end. A pictoral summary will follow in the very near future. If you want to get caught up on what's happened so far, here's Part one, two, and three. When I last left, well, me, I was waiting for a cheeseburger. I'm still waiting.

And waiting, and waiting. FINALLY, it came. And? The burger was OK, though again, no cheese. They had a BUNCH of fries in the basket, though. I mean, ALOT. None of us could finish all of our fries. Afterwards, we explored more of Pioneer Village. We went into the "town hall", which had a history of the park scattered all over, along with other old-time equipment, tools, and machinery. And a couple wax dummies, just to make the one real person working at the counter seem even creepier.

There was one fortune-telling machine, a Gypsy grandma. It was very old-time, you could tell it had been around for a long time. But it still worked! Not being superstitious at all, we thought it the height of hillarity to spend a quater of a U.S. dollar to hear our fortune told by a machine of a gypsy Grandma. Here are highlights from my "Grandmother's Prophesies":
- Trouble, trouble, boil and bubble
- You were nature's stepchild.
- One of these days you'll awake to a peaceful world and great happiness will be yours.
- Try to develop tough skin. (editor's note: um, is there a cream or something to add extra layers or something?)
- Life for you should hold no dull moments.
- Drop another Coin in slot and I will tell more.

Another clueless machine offering endless entertainment and laughs was one that told you if you had a movie face or not. You looked into a screen, put in your coin, and then something happened. It kinda looked like the screen melted. It was odd. I guess it was supposedly "scanning" my face, though I don't know if the technology existed back then. My card said:

"Your screen test shows that you are a wonderful discovery. You have a quality that is winsome and alluring, and a talent scout should be offering you a very big contract. As soon as the studio realizes what it has in you, you will be "glamorized" and rushed before the camera opposite your favorite star. Your Success:-Your name will be emblazoned in lights. The Public Will Say:-My favorite performer."

So one day, I'll wake up, and all this trouble and bubbling and stuff will go away, and I'll become an actor. I paid $0.50 to find that out, when it probably would have cost $200 to do Manpower or something like that, who would have told me to become a Podiatrist, or something. Weirdo's.

We explored some more, looked in the different shops, then rode the train across the park. One side is non-scenic at all... It just gets you to the other side of Cedar Point. The other side has a whole village along the tracks, populated by animitronic skelatons. Some play music, some laugh, some shoot guns... It's all great fun!

We then went on a magical ride across the park. Or maybe it's just the Sky Ride, Cedar Point's "flying" Gondola's. Cedar Point is very beautiful, colorful, and just plain fun to look at. But the Gondola is semi-tippable, and you're a couple stories high, and people are tiny, and your hands are starting to make indents in the poles because you're nervous of heights and.... Oh, whew, it's over! I wish I could have taken pictures during that ride. Then I could have masked my nervousness!

We then went on the Sky Ride, where you were behind glass, sitting down, and I knew it was completely safe. And if you went just up, then maybe could have walked around, and the glass were like 5 feet thick, maybe I would have felt safer. I took pictures during that ride, constantly. As soon as it started rotating while going up, I took pictures all the time. I didn't look away from the viewfinder. Yes, I am that paranoid, and I know it! But I did get some good pictures out of the ride, so it's probably all worth it.

Afterwards, we were heading on off to the Ferris Wheel, which Cedar Point calls the Giant Wheel. Which it is, but could it be like "Rotating Death Trap" or anything with a bit more drama, a little bit of bravado? I just don't get it. Janna also sat the Ferris Wheel out, and we watched as John and Jenn went around and around in the Giant Wheel. They must have been in there for about 20 minutes. They just kept going around! Meanwhile, the Ferris Wheel is right next to the Wicked Twister, which wasn't all that pleasent to look at, nor hear the death screams from everyone. Between that, and being right near the maXair, Janna and I concured that these rides were designed by sadist. These machines looked to be pure, unabashed evil.

After John and "Jenn" finally got off the Ferris Wheel (Giant Wheel, sorry.), we went to see if they had any animals in the water tank in one building, but, alas, there were no sea animals to be seen. From there, we went on over to the beach, where we found some deck chairs. We all laid back, and rested for a long while. Sure, there were the death screams and the roar of machinery. But the temperature was perfect at that point, and when the breeze wasn't blowing, it was PERFECT. But, eventually, with the breeze coming off of Lake Erie, we left, because we were getting cold.

As an aside, it was kinda odd not getting directional bearings by looking towards the lake. By that I mean, here in West Michigan, the sun sets over the lake, so when you lay out at the beach at night, you see the sun set. At Cedar Point, while laying down, we were facing North. A slight curiosity.

We left the beach, and trekked back to the front of the park to meet try and meet up with the rest of the group. Eventually, we met up with most of the group, talked for a bit, then Jenn, Kaylene, Janna, John, and myself all walked out to the parking lot, where we talked together for a while, while the rest of the group waited for the few stragglers still on rides.

A little after 8, we left Cedar Point, headed for home. A hour or two later, we went back to the same Burger King we ate at about 12 hours earlier. I'm not sure they were necessarily to have a group of 16 walk in when it was clear they had about 3, 4 people on staff, but hey, we got food, and that's all that matters. I had an actual cheeseburger, and it tasted soooo much better than the one I had in the park. And it was a whole lot less, too! (I did want a side salad as well, but they were all out. Bummer!)

We then proceeded to drive back home, back to Grandville. Now, I can't really sleep in a moving vehicle easily. And John had loaned be a John Grishom novel, The Client, which I had been reading sporadically during the drive down. So I figured that I'd knock off more of the book while in the van. Everyone else around me in the van was sleeping, so it's not like I couldn't talk to anyone anyways!

I read over half of the book during the road trip, and hope to pick it back up sometime soon. You know how sometimes while reading, there's a character that, in your mind's eye, you associate with an actor or an actress? Well, the female lead, Reggie, in my mind is played by Jane Curtin. Just so you know.

Finally, around 1:30 am, we arrived back at the church where he had left about 20 hours earlier. We said quick thank you's, walked back home, quickly got things kinda in order again, and feel asleep. It was tons of fun, and I'm glad I went. And to be completely honest, I would MUCH rather go on The Mantis again than spend 20 minutes on a Ferris Wheel.

Pictures to come sometime early Friday afternoon. Or, at least, that's the plan! :)