NO!!!

File Under: TV Scoop

No, no, no, no, no, no, noooooooo!!!!! I hate the FOX network. Yes, I'll still watch 24, because it's fun to watch (and equally fun to mock). But I have to disagree with something that they announced today. Here are the highlights from a network press release:

*****SPOILERS*****

- New cast members include Sean Astin (Sam, "The Lord of the Rings") in an unspecified role, Jean Smart as First Lady Martha Logan, Connie Britton as Diane, and Brady Corbet as Diane's son, Derek.
- 2 hour extraveganza's on Sunday, Jan. 8, and Monday, Jan. 9. The second hour on Monday will be 24's 100th episode.
- 24 will still air on Monday's at 9 pm, with no scheduled repeats or preemptions. (meaning: only President Bush can stop us! Hahaha!)
- Season 5 starts 18 months later as "national security is brutally breached and the thrilling clock begins to tick again." 18 months since a clock ticked?
- Jack Bauer is living a new life with Diane and her son, while President Logan (Gregory Itzin) is running the country, with his wife Martha at his side (presumably, unless she's another Sherry Palmer).
- Bill Buchanan still commands CTU. Kinda a step down for a Division guy, isn't it? Curtis, Edgar, and Chloe are still working there. More Edgar and Chloe! Inbetween that and Sam from LOTR, it should be a good season, right?
- Carlos Bernard will return at some unspecified point in the new season to reprise his character of Tony Almeida.
- Also returning at some unspecified point is actress Kim Raver. Yes, we're going to get more AUDREY RAINES. More of the sniveling, whiny, unable to act rational for more than one episode a season, Audrey. She's basically the grown-up Kim Bauer, which when you consider the relationship Jack and her had, it's kinda creepy.

So thank you, FOX. For never giving us a season of peace. Not only did you feel the need to meet your child actor quota, you felt the need to give us the annoying, stupid blonde that bugs the entire audience to no end.

But hey! Sam! "I made a promise to you, Mr. Bauer, and I intend to keep that promise!"

UPDATE: Variety is reporting that Sean Astin will be working for CTU. SWEET!